Bio Parents, Foster Care, Adoption, Love
We are coming to an end on our adoption journey and I couldn’t help but think of how blessed we are. We are blessed to have our girls in our lives and haven’t for taken anything for granted.
If you haven’t read my blog about the struggle with infertility I encourage you to read it. In all of that, you’d know that we struggled with infertility for over 7 years. And when the thought of foster care opened up I would quickly deny it. I wasn’t ready to think selflessly. But all in all, God worked in my heart and opened the doors for us to begin the journey of foster care.
On that journey, we came to have our house open to many children including our girls. And we came to know their bio parents along this journey. But in all of this, I wanted to talk about a love that has grown, not only with our kids but for their bio family.
Bio Parents and Adoptive Parents
You see, Bio parents and foster/adoptive parents have a bad reputation with each other. Bio parents and foster parents (in terms of foster care) have this way of sometimes thinking ill about one another. I mean, in all honesty, even bio mom told me one time the word ‘foster mom’ “Left a bad taste in her mouth.” Let me tell you, I’ve heard horror story upon horror story countless times, and sometimes they’re true, but ours is not one of them.
We Respect Each Other
If you truly work at a loving and respectable relationship with anyone, that’s exactly what you will have in the long run. Whether you have the same mindset or not you can still reach a point of love and respect for someone. In our case, we saw on both ends that they grew to love and respect us as much as we did for them. In the long run, it makes this whole process just a tad bit easier and so much more full of love for our kids.
On both ends of the spectrum, this is true. We have all (as parents) matured. Yes as 25 to 30-year-olds we all still had some maturing to do, but we accomplished it. When you realize that you’re not always right, or you’re not always going to get what you want, that’s a sign a maturity. When you agree to disagree and let bygones be bygones, you’ve matured. Let’s be honest we ALL still have some maturing to do, but when we can finally admit that we need to improve in this area it allows us to have a more open heart and love more generously.
We Love Like Christ Loves Us
“We love because He first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” 1 John 4:19-20
I love my children’s bio parents because Christ loved me so much as to give himself up for me. You can very easily talk badly about each other. You can very easily say hurtful things. But why? Why do that?
Learn to love just as Christ loved us. Why? Because “You were once dead because of your failures and sins… But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace, you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:1, 4-5. If Christ could give himself up for me and love me, why can’t I do the same to my brother or sister? I love my children’s bio parents because they’re my brother and sister as well. I love my children’s bio parents because they made a beautiful decision to love their children in the way that allowed us to love them as well.
Now, I’m speaking about why love my children’s bio parents but these same reasons why I love them are the same reasons why we should love everyone the same. We may not always agree and have the same point of view but that doesn’t mean we still can’t love each other.
Have questions about foster care? Leave a comment and I’ll respond.
Want to Read more about my infertility journey? CLICK HERE
Want to Read more about foster parents? CLICK HERE
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